Skip to comments.Old SNL skit of Nancy Pelosi adressing nation after she was made Speaker elect.
Posted on 07/03/2007 8:47:59 AM PDT by dangus
Good evening, Im Nancy Pelosi. For the past 18 years, Ive been a member of Congress from the 18th District of California, proudly representing the citizens of San Francisco. As of this January, however, I will, in a sense, represent all Americans, when I am sworn in as Speaker of the House.
Despite the efforts of this administration to frighten the American public about the Democratic party, and its alleged San Francisco values, last Tuesday, you went to the polls in record numbers, and you sent this White House a message
that Stay the course in Iraq is not a plan;
that our health care system should serve ordinary citizens, not pharmaceutical companies;
that so-called rough sex can be a necessary and fulfilling adjunct to [inaudible], particularly when it involves fantasy role-playing scenarios, such as kidnapping or forced interrogation, providing of course that all participants are willing and disease-free, and have agreed on what we call a safe word, for example, palomino;
that an increase in the minimum wage is long overdue;
and, finally, that U.S. citizens do not surrender their constitutional rights the moment they engage in multiple partners and group sex, providing, once again, that all participants are willing, at least twelve years of age, and no peanuts or peanut products are used.
We Americans have always been a religious people, a member of my staff tells me, and whatever you have heard, the Democratic Party is not anti-religion, whether youre a wiccan priestess, a druid, a tantric Buddhist, a servent of Moloch, the Lord of Fire, Presbyterian, or member of the cult of Kali, your faith will be respected, so long as no animals are harmed during your ceremonies, except, of course, gerbils.
And when the new, Democratic majority convenes in January, it will truly be a Congress as diverse as the nation it serves: sharing the Judiciary committee, John Conyers [a picture of the African-American congressman is shown]. At Ways and Means, Charles Rangel [a picture of the African-American congressman is shown]. At Homeland Security, Benny Thompson [a picture of the African-American congressman is shown]. At Government Reform, Ernesto Guevera, Jr. [the two-toned icon of Che is shown], at agriculture, this naked hippy [a guy sporting a guitar, thumbs-up, and very long, ratty hair], and his old lady [a very young hippy woman]. At Small Business, yet another black dude. At finance, the drummer from Rage Against the Machine. And at Intelligence, Al Qaeda Number Two man, Khallid Al-Zawahari. Truly, a Congress that looks like America.
[A man dressed in gay, leather, sex-fetish clothes come over]: Nancy, you need to OK this.
[Nancy, to audience]: Excuse me. [To man]: Dean, Im kinda in the middle of something.
Man: Ill come back.
Nancy: Dean, and about your outfit, its alright now, but as of January, you may have to go with more of a business look for in the office.
Man: Oh, Im sorry, I didnt know.
Nancy: No, no, its fine for now, but for after the transition
Man: Sure, no problem.
Nancy: Whos your friend?
Man: This is my slave; his name is Phil. Hes a human ashtray.
Nancy: Dean, this office is non-smoking.
Man: Just pot.
Nancy: Oh, OK. [To Phil}: How do you do?
Phil [unable to speak because of a horrid device shoved in his mouth]: Iff rear horror to reef roo. Rurarurashur ah reruming rea-rer.
Nancy: Thank you, I appreciate it. Dean, I better get back to
Man: Oh, absolutely.
Nancy [back to audience]: With your votes last Tuesday, you have offered us your trust. I promise you, we will not betray you.
[Wretched noise like a drill from offstage, also offstage, Man shouts]: Palomino! Palamino!
Nancy [to offstage]: Palamino!
ha, ha...and that no peanuts or peanut products are used. Thanks for posting—very funny.
I think you posted the wrong transcript. I’m pretty sure that was the actual speech and not a spoof.
Did ya see the SNL skit with Robert Denero as CIA director talking about members of Al Quida who were being hunted down. It was hilarious too. I have it on my favorites I’d love to post it here but I don’t know how.
Can you at least copy the link?
There is some nervous laughter from the audience in there when it comes of the things mocked.
#####There is some nervous laughter from the audience in there when it comes of the things mocked.#####
That’s because a lot of them were New York “liberals” and the jokes hit too close to home.
That’s because they are mocking the “religious” tenets of the Democratic Party/ MSM. The audience isn’t used to seeing that, so they are a bit nervous. The skit would be funny if it were not so true...
“There is some nervous laughter from the audience in there when it comes of the things mocked”.
...because, as with most Americans, of thier stupidity and lack of an actual opinion based on anything more than hysteria and emotion. (audience member thinking)...”hmmm. Is it really going to be that cool to have this bug eyed marxist in control of my government”?
I think that’s what Lorne Michaels and the writers at SNL were thinking. Has there ever been a more rapid onset of “buyer’s remorse”?
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