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Old SNL skit of Nancy Pelosi adressing nation after she was made Speaker elect.
You Tube clip from SNL ^ | 11/15/06 | SNL

Posted on 07/03/2007 8:47:59 AM PDT by dangus

Good evening, I’m Nancy Pelosi. For the past 18 years, I’ve been a member of Congress from the 18th District of California, proudly representing the citizens of San Francisco. As of this January, however, I will, in a sense, represent all Americans, when I am sworn in as Speaker of the House.

Despite the efforts of this administration to frighten the American public about the Democratic party, and it’s alleged “San Francisco values,” last Tuesday, you went to the polls in record numbers, and you sent this White House a message

that “Stay the course in Iraq” is not a plan;

that our health care system should serve ordinary citizens, not pharmaceutical companies;

that so-called rough sex can be a necessary and fulfilling adjunct to [inaudible], particularly when it involves fantasy role-playing scenarios, such as kidnapping or forced interrogation, providing of course that all participants are willing and disease-free, and have agreed on what we call a “safe word,” for example, “palomino”;

that an increase in the minimum wage is long overdue;

and, finally, that U.S. citizens do not surrender their constitutional rights the moment they engage in multiple partners and group sex, providing, once again, that all participants are willing, at least twelve years of age, and no peanuts or peanut products are used.

We Americans have always been a religious people, a member of my staff tells me, and whatever you have heard, the Democratic Party is not anti-religion, whether you’re a wiccan priestess, a druid, a tantric Buddhist, a servent of Moloch, the Lord of Fire, Presbyterian, or member of the cult of Kali, your faith will be respected, so long as no animals are harmed during your ceremonies, except, of course, gerbils.

And when the new, Democratic majority convenes in January, it will truly be a Congress as diverse as the nation it serves: sharing the Judiciary committee, John Conyers [a picture of the African-American congressman is shown]. At Ways and Means, Charles Rangel [a picture of the African-American congressman is shown]. At Homeland Security, Benny Thompson [a picture of the African-American congressman is shown]. At Government Reform, Ernesto Guevera, Jr. [the two-toned icon of Che is shown], at agriculture, this naked hippy [a guy sporting a guitar, thumbs-up, and very long, ratty hair], and his old lady [a very young hippy woman]. At Small Business, yet another black dude. At finance, the drummer from Rage Against the Machine. And at Intelligence, Al Qaeda Number Two man, Khallid Al-Zawahari. Truly, a Congress that looks like America.

[A man dressed in gay, leather, sex-fetish clothes come over]: Nancy, you need to OK this.

[Nancy, to audience]: Excuse me. [To man]: Dean, I’m kinda in the middle of something.

Man: I’ll come back.

Nancy: Dean, and about your outfit, it’s alright now, but as of January, you may have to go with more of a business look for in the office.

Man: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.

Nancy: No, no, it’s fine for now, but for after the transition…

Man: Sure, no problem.

Nancy: Who’s your friend?

Man: This is my slave; his name is Phil. He’s a human ashtray.

Nancy: Dean, this office is non-smoking.

Man: Just pot.

Nancy: Oh, OK. [To Phil}: How do you do?

Phil [unable to speak because of a horrid device shoved in his mouth]: Iff rear horror to reef roo. Rurarurashur ah reruming rea-rer.

Nancy: Thank you, I appreciate it. Dean, I better get back to…

Man: Oh, absolutely.

Nancy [back to audience]: With your votes last Tuesday, you have offered us your trust. I promise you, we will not betray you.

[Wretched noise like a drill from offstage, also offstage, Man shouts]: Palomino! Palamino!

Nancy [to offstage]: Palamino!


TOPICS: Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: comedy; pelosi; snl

1 posted on 07/03/2007 8:48:09 AM PDT by dangus
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To: dangus

ha, ha...and that no peanuts or peanut products are used. Thanks for posting—very funny.


2 posted on 07/03/2007 8:50:59 AM PDT by beaversmom
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To: dangus

I think you posted the wrong transcript. I’m pretty sure that was the actual speech and not a spoof.

:)


3 posted on 07/03/2007 8:52:28 AM PDT by Domandred (Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines)
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To: dangus

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL


4 posted on 07/03/2007 8:53:01 AM PDT by wastedyears (Cloture? Nuts.)
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To: dangus
Great skit!

Did ya see the SNL skit with Robert Denero as CIA director talking about members of Al Quida who were being hunted down. It was hilarious too. I have it on my favorites I’d love to post it here but I don’t know how.

5 posted on 07/03/2007 8:54:18 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Ditter

Can you at least copy the link?


6 posted on 07/03/2007 8:55:33 AM PDT by dangus
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To: dangus

There is some nervous laughter from the audience in there when it comes of the things mocked.


7 posted on 07/03/2007 8:57:21 AM PDT by weegee (If the Fairness Doctrine is imposed on USA who will CNN news get to read the conservative rebuttal)
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To: weegee

#####There is some nervous laughter from the audience in there when it comes of the things mocked.#####

That’s because a lot of them were New York “liberals” and the jokes hit too close to home.


8 posted on 07/03/2007 9:00:37 AM PDT by puroresu
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To: weegee

That’s because they are mocking the “religious” tenets of the Democratic Party/ MSM. The audience isn’t used to seeing that, so they are a bit nervous. The skit would be funny if it were not so true...


9 posted on 07/03/2007 9:03:29 AM PDT by BlueStateRefugee
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To: dangus

LOL.


10 posted on 07/03/2007 9:04:03 AM PDT by MeanWestTexan (Kol Hakavod Fred Thompson)
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To: weegee

“There is some nervous laughter from the audience in there when it comes of the things mocked”.

...because, as with most Americans, of thier stupidity and lack of an actual opinion based on anything more than hysteria and emotion. (audience member thinking)...”hmmm. Is it really going to be that cool to have this bug eyed marxist in control of my government”?


11 posted on 07/03/2007 9:06:37 AM PDT by albie
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To: dangus
Here's the first one I found. There are probably many more on Youtube.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1173745591

12 posted on 07/03/2007 9:07:58 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (A base looking for a party.)
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To: albie
>>hmmm. Is it really going to be that cool to have this bug eyed marxist in control of my government”?<<

I think that’s what Lorne Michaels and the writers at SNL were thinking. Has there ever been a more rapid onset of “buyer’s remorse”?

13 posted on 07/03/2007 9:19:50 AM PDT by ishabibble (ALL-AMERICAN INFIDEL)
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To: dangus

good one!


14 posted on 07/03/2007 10:42:05 AM PDT by bilhosty
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To: TXBubba

ping


15 posted on 07/03/2007 11:44:09 AM PDT by beaversmom
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To: TXBubba
Here's the You tube link:

Nancy Pelosi

16 posted on 07/03/2007 11:48:29 AM PDT by beaversmom
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