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Sea Level Rises Hundreds Of Feet Due To Sweat From Celebrities Waiting To Be Outed As Perverts
The Babylon Bee ^ | 11-29-2017

Posted on 11/30/2017 3:45:44 PM PST by Slyfox

U.S.—Stunned meteorologists reported Wednesday that the sea level has risen an astonishing 300 feet overnight, as the sweat from celebrities trying to cover up their sexual harassment scandals rained down “in buckets.”

Vast swathes of the United States are now entirely underwater, including major coastal cities and regions, as the investigations into various celebrities and TV personalities continue.

“This is a worldwide disaster,” one NBC News anchor (not Matt Lauer) said. “We saw an uptick when Harvey Weinstein’s deviant behavior came to light, but when it became clear the revelations wouldn’t be slowing down anytime soon, celebrities and otherwise powerful individuals all across the nation began sweating profusely.”

At publishing time, FEMA disaster officials had recommended that all yet-to-be-outed celebrity perverts simply confess their sins, repent, and find peace with God in Christ, in order to avoid further guilt and flooding.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 11/30/2017 3:45:44 PM PST by Slyfox
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To: CAluvdubya; kingattax

Ping


2 posted on 11/30/2017 3:47:35 PM PST by Slyfox (Are you tired of winning yet?)
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To: Slyfox

Hey hey... a GlowBull Warming thread that does NOT need the jpg of Goebbels.


3 posted on 11/30/2017 3:48:06 PM PST by C210N (It is easier to fool the people than convince them that they have been fooled)
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To: Slyfox

LOVE IT—The real cause of climate change is finally revealed!!! This is an explanation I can fully support!


4 posted on 11/30/2017 3:50:53 PM PST by davandbar
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To: Slyfox

Lol.


5 posted on 11/30/2017 3:52:53 PM PST by SkyPilot ("I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6)
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To: Slyfox
I wonder how Gropy Joe Biden is feeling.


6 posted on 11/30/2017 3:53:00 PM PST by GrandJediMasterYoda (Trump: Greatest POTUS of all time solely for preventing Satan from taking office.)
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda

.
>> “I wonder how Gropy Joe Biden is feeling.” <<

With his hands ofcourse!
.


7 posted on 11/30/2017 3:57:08 PM PST by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
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To: Slyfox
I want to see a flood of Biblical proportions.

Come on Fat Lady, belt one out.

8 posted on 11/30/2017 4:02:43 PM PST by Slyfox (Are you tired of winning yet?)
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To: Slyfox

great title!!!


9 posted on 11/30/2017 4:17:27 PM PST by ronniesgal (still winning !!)
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To: Slyfox

I keep hoping someone will develop a really good visual cartoon for this title.


10 posted on 11/30/2017 4:26:36 PM PST by where's_the_Outrage? (Drain the Swamp. Build the Wall.)
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To: Slyfox

LOL


11 posted on 11/30/2017 4:34:22 PM PST by Tennessee Nana
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To: Slyfox

12 posted on 11/30/2017 4:40:43 PM PST by PROCON (O Lord, everything good in me is due to you. The rest is my fault.- Augustine)
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To: Slyfox
😹😹😹😹😹😹😹
13 posted on 11/30/2017 4:41:26 PM PST by rktman (Enlisted in the Navy in '67 to protect folks rights to strip my rights. WTH?!)
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To: Slyfox

When I was a young man, I found the level of overt sexual attention given me by the young ladies was completely unacceptable...and I felt my reproductive choices were severely limited as a result. #metoo


14 posted on 11/30/2017 4:46:47 PM PST by AndyTheBear
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To: AndyTheBear
At the fast food place I worked in high school I kept stretching and saying, “it sure is hot in here”. The girls never sexually harassed me.

Some hurts don't heal.

15 posted on 11/30/2017 4:57:09 PM PST by fungoking (Tis a pleasure to live in the 0zarks)
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To: fungoking
Kidding aside I did see a case that made me feel very awful on the part of a young man who was very un-attractive and awkward. He was teased by a young woman who was quite attractive in front of a lot of her friends and other people in a dormitory lounge.

He had made the brag that he was an expert of SF meaning science fiction. She made the clever crack that he must mean "sexual frustration"...and she made it in the wake of being frustrated that he had the channel on a Dr Who episode being that he was at the tv first.

He did not have a response but turned around akwardly, the smile on his face dropped, and I could see he was really hurt.

I can understand cutting down a guy who is arrogant and all...but she was picking on a guy that had very little prospect of ever finding much love, and I reckoned he had his share of that kind of frustration and that it cut him very deep.

Now obviously there was no crime there or anything. But that was a cruelty that I hope the young girl regretted and prayed for forgiveness for. And I hope he has recovered and found somebody and gotten past it.

16 posted on 11/30/2017 5:10:31 PM PST by AndyTheBear
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To: Slyfox

this must be the man made global warming they were talking about....I guess I was wrong and will have to admit to my liberal friends that Hollywood and the democratic party is responsible for the hot weather affecting the politicians and entertainment industry.


17 posted on 11/30/2017 5:53:53 PM PST by PCPOET7
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To: Slyfox

Hahaha! It’s no coincidence that the majority of pervs are Dimms!


18 posted on 11/30/2017 8:08:19 PM PST by CAluvdubya (<---has now left CA for NV, where God/guns have not been outlawed! She's done and he's won!)
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