Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Today's Toons 12/19/18

    12/19/2018 3:16:11 AM PST · by pookie18 · 1 replies
    The Politics Forums ^ | 12/19/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Naughty Nun

    12/19/2018 3:16:03 AM PST · by sodpoodle
    email | 12/19/2018 | unknown
    A nun gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to...
  • Ninth Circuit Court Rules Border Wall Must Be 'Short Enough That A Pregnant Woman Carrying..(satire)

    12/18/2018 10:16:54 PM PST · by bitt · 8 replies
    babylonbee.com ^ | 12/13/2018 | ADMIN
    SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty." While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand....
  • Signs of the Times

    12/18/2018 11:39:47 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 17 replies
    email | 12/18/2018 | Indian Hills, co
    The Problem with Political Jokes is They sometimes get elected. Wishing you a Happy Whatever doesn't Offend You. Dogs can't operate MRI scanners - but Catscan. Our Mountains aren't just Funny - they're Hill Areas. Turning Vegan would be a big Missed Steak. Well, to be Frank - I'd have to Change my Name. Whenever I try to eat Healthy, a chocolate bar just looks at me and Snickers. Life is Short, if you can't laugh at yourself, Call me - I will. Ban pre-shredded cheese, Make America grate again. For chemists, alcohol is not a problem - It's a...
  • Today's Toons 12/18/18

    12/18/2018 3:43:29 AM PST · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 12/18/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Rex Murphy: Boogieing to Beyoncé at a $100M wedding, Hillary plots her comeback

    12/18/2018 3:32:45 AM PST · by b_Cap37 · 10 replies
    National Post ^ | Rex Murphy
    I missed the Bill and Hillary conversation tour when it hit Toronto due to prior commitments. Socks, even the least flamboyant, do not sort themselves. Press accounts tell me it was less than the crowd-swollen high-energy jamboree it was expected to be. Torontonians, who have previously exhibited a surprisingly rich appetite for Bill or Hillary Clinton when they showed up solo, stayed away in busloads when offered the Two-On-A-Plate Special at the Scotiabank Arena last month. Even a desperate last minute dive in the ticket price — they were going for a three-chicken-strips-at-Popeye’s six bucks — failed to populate the...
  • This guy built a ‘glitter bomb’ and filmed Amazon thieves getting their just deserts.

    12/18/2018 12:05:39 AM PST · by lowbridge · 80 replies
    upworthy.com ^ | December 18, 2018 | Leo Shvedsky
    You really shouldn’t steal from Mark Rober. I mean, you shouldn’t steal from anyone, but you REALLY shouldn’t steal Mark Rober’s mail. The engineer and YouTube star really knows his stuff - he literally helped design the Mars Rover. But when Rober realized people were stealing his packages (he caught the thieves on his home video) he was stumped. In a video that has immediately gone viral, Rober says he reported the crime to the local police who said they simply didn’t have time investigate the incident, even though Rober had done much of the heavy lifting by capturing the...
  • She's a dirty liar (Old SNL believe it or not)

    12/17/2018 5:50:26 PM PST · by ifinnegan · 19 replies
    YouTube I'm Not Norm ^ | 12/18/18 | Norm MacDonald
    Hilarious and impossible to imagine now. Of course MacDonald got fired from the show.
  • The 8 Stages of Gardening

    12/17/2018 10:25:06 AM PST · by orsonwb · 21 replies
    The How Do Gardener ^ | 12/16/2018 | Rick Bickling
    Just as in life, gardening has its peaks and valleys, its ups and downs, its ebbs and flows. Take a humorous look at the 8 stages of gardening...
  • Southern Humor

    12/17/2018 10:03:19 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 58 replies
    email from a suthun frend | 12/17/2018 | unknown
    *Georgia The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. *If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." Louisiana A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes,* *I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why,...
  • Today's Toons 12/17/18

    12/17/2018 3:44:33 AM PST · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 12/17/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Train Cop Prank in NYC

    12/17/2018 2:15:03 AM PST · by dennisw · 14 replies
    YT ^ | Published on Dec 10, 2018 | Wavey. P
    This funny video is a young Hispanic guy, clowning around, acting as a NYC Transit cop. Some Christmas cheer!
  • Starsky and Hutch - Rudolph Drank the Moonshine - Jug Mountain Boys

    12/16/2018 2:40:38 PM PST · by mairdie · 8 replies
    One of my favorite old shows, Starsky & Hutch for Jug Mountain Boys' "Santa Drank the Moonshine." Mostly from the "Moonshine" episode. And to keep the humor going, Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango" for Avon in Blakes 7.
  • Southwest passenger claims airline forced her to leave pet fish at airport

    12/16/2018 1:58:51 PM PST · by antidemoncrat · 79 replies
    Fox News ^ | 12/16/2018 | Alexandra Deable
    Lanice Powless, a University of Colorado student, was flying to California from Denver International Airport when she said a Southwest Airlines employee informed her that she would not be allowed to bring her pink beta fish, Cassie, onboard with her. Powless had gotten the fish her freshman year of college to combat loneliness she was feeling being away at school. The two formed a fast friendship, Powless said to 10News.
  • www.break.com is shut down.

    12/15/2018 5:08:22 PM PST · by Jonty30 · 13 replies
    I just went to www.break.com to see what they were doing and the link was broken. It's been iffy for a few months now. However, I just checked Wikipedia and they ceased operation November 7, 2018. What is remarkable is that they used to be one of the biggest video humour sites on the web. It used to generate millions of dollars in revenue. However, they threw their lot in with Hillary full-time and that was that. Just another example of Get Woke and Go broke.
  • A Frizzy Christmas

    12/15/2018 4:12:36 PM PST · by Twotone · 3 replies
    Steyn On-line ^ | December 15, 2018 | Mark Steyn
    'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... At which point, Sylvester the cat looks up from his long fruitless vigil outside the mouse hole in the baseboard and sighs with feeling to the narrator, "You're not jutht whithlin' Dickthie, brother." "Gift Wrapped" is like every Looney Tune or Merry Melody - a mere six minutes long. But with Christmas movies that's a good thing. The western and the musical may be dead, but the charmless Xmas movie is now a genre all of its own and doing gangbusters....
  • #Baby You're Cold Inside - New Video by massadvj

    12/15/2018 1:30:59 PM PST · by mystery-ak · 5 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | Dec. 15, 2015 | massadvj
    Victor's latest video now showing
  • 2019 HOOTERS CALENDAR

    Famous Hooters calendar
  • [satire] Ninth Circuit Court Rules on Border Wall

    12/14/2018 5:54:22 PM PST · by NRx · 19 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | 12-14-2018 | Staff
    SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty." While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand....
  • Debate: Should Santa Clause be Female or Gender Neutral?

    12/14/2018 5:41:50 PM PST · by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis · 35 replies
    BBC ^ | 12/14/18
    When we say ‘Santa’, you probably think of an old fat guy with a bushy beard - but what if they were a woman, or non-binary? Isn't everyone capable of spreading Christmas cheer? This is the debate that's heating up right now after a councillor in Newton Aycliffe (near Durham) complained last month about a woman being cast in the role of Santa in the town’s Christmas parade. Arun Chandran, the Newton Aycliffe councillor who was against the idea of a female Santa, told The Times that the role is only appropriate for men. “My understanding is that Santa Claus,...