Humor (Religion)

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  • 10 Ironclad Proofs That Jesus Was A Socialist [Humor]

    03/22/2019 9:44:29 PM PDT · by OddLane · 15 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 3/22/19 | Babylon Bee
    We all know that Jesus was a socialist. It's pretty obvious, because we heard a college professor say so one time. Nonetheless, there are many neanderthals who still don't know this beautiful truth. To help you convince them that Jesus was a passionate supporter of a centralized economy, totalitarian state, and redistribution of wealth, look no further than these 10 indisputable proofs..
  • Extremist Pastor Attacks Cafe With Super Soaker, Dozens Baptized (Satiresque)

    02/01/2019 1:06:42 PM PST · by Gamecock · 5 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 2/1/2019
    ORANGE, CA—Patrons at Winthrop’s Cafe in Orange found themselves victims of a random attack on Tuesday that will change their lives forever. The cafe-goers were enjoying their soups and salads when 35-year-old senior pastor of Everlife Community Church, Marty Muggins barged onto the premises armed with a Super Soaker and opened fire on the crowded cafe. “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!!!" he was reported to have shouted along with other incoherent religious exclamations as he totally immersed his victims. By the time police arrived on the scene, Muggins had...
  • Adam and Eve

    01/16/2019 3:18:50 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 15 replies
    email | 1/16/2019 | unnown
    Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. "She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've...
  • Progressive Pastor Spends Entire Sermon Apologizing For What Bible Says (Satire)

    01/14/2019 12:32:59 PM PST · by Gamecock · 5 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 1/17/2019
    BULL PASS, TX—Progressive pastor Lucas North of St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church spent almost every word of his twenty-minute sermon Sunday morning apologizing for the passage he had chosen to preach on, audience members confirmed. Reverend North reportedly preached on Jesus’ teachings about His Second Coming and the story of the wicked servant at the end of the 24th chapter of the gospel of Matthew. “I know Jesus said some pretty tough things in this passage here,” North began gently. “I just want to start out by saying I’m so sorry for the unfortunate choice of words used in these passages...
  • The Tale of the Two Calendars: Why the Orthodox Church can't agree onwhat day it is

    12/08/2018 10:08:56 AM PST · by NRx · 10 replies
    YouTube ^ | 12-07-2018 | Bible Illustrated
    A humorous look at the great calendar debate within (mostly) the Orthodox Church.
  • Congregation Erupts Into Violent Protests As Worship Band Tampers With Another Christmas Carol

    12/04/2018 10:04:00 AM PST · by Gamecock · 17 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 12/4/2018
    It's satire people! Full Title: Congregation Erupts Into Violent Protests As Worship Band Shamelessly Tampers With Yet Another Timeless Christmas Carol PERRY, MA—Violence broke out at Everlasting Savior Community Church in Perry last Sunday after, in an audacious show of nerve, the worship band messed with another classic Christmas song. Congregants were whipped into a frenzy during “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” when a new bridge was added to the already satisfactory song. “Rejoice with tidal waves of grace, oh Savior of the broken, pouring over me everlasting in a rushing mighty wave of love…” the new lyrics began. It...
  • The Atheist Christmas Coloring Book

    12/02/2018 9:46:34 PM PST · by Talkwire · 14 replies
    AtheistChristmas.org ^ | Some heathen
    Atheists are fighting the war FOR Christmas? Solstice, Yule, Saturnalia, Hanukkah, and other traditions were blended centuries ago to form Christmas, and embellished with fairy tales and fables into the rich secular modern celebration we have today.See for yourself at http://atheistchristmas.org/ Values like joy, peace, sharing, and celebration are not limited to one faith or culture in December. The foundations of Christmas may be mythological, but the Spirit of Christmas is universal. Keep the Merry, without the Myths!
  • Nation's Prosperity Gospel Preachers Celebrate 'Taking Tuesday' (Satire)

    11/27/2018 3:19:21 PM PST · by Gamecock · 10 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 11/27/2018
    U.S.—The nation's prosperity gospel preachers announced today they are enjoying their favorite holiday of the year: "Taking Tuesday," in which they get to cajole their followers into giving them even more of their money. Prosperity theologians encouraged their followers to donate exorbitant amounts of cash to their ministries under the hashtag #TakingTuesday, calling the idea of enriching a few already ridiculously prosperous pastors a manifestation of the "true holiday spirit." "In the midst of this season where it's so easy to get distracted by giving and generosity, it's nice to have a single day in which we charlatans can focus...
  • "Name a Natural Explanation Later Replaced by a Supernatural Explanation"

    11/25/2018 12:47:12 PM PST · by pcottraux · 28 replies
    Depths of Pentecost ^ | November 24, 2018 | Philip Cottraux
    “Name a Natural Explanation Later Replaced by a Supernatural Explanation” By Philip Cottraux I see this one pop up on Twitter from time to time, followed by atheists bragging that they’ve never met a theist who can answer it. Unfortunately, I’ve been unsuccessful tracking down its origin. In some tweets I’ve seen it connected with Sam Harris, but sifting through countless quotes as well as his book The End of Faith (this was a torturous experience) turned up nothing. Like most atheist “gotchas,” this one is riddled with false presumptions. I can already hear skeptics getting to the end of...
  • Church Fathers: A Door to Rome (They were mostly heretics... really)

    11/01/2018 9:39:51 AM PDT · by NRx · 13 replies
    Way of Life Literature ^ | 06-04-2008 | David Cloud
    Many people have walked into the Roman Catholic Church through the broad door of the “church fathers,” and this is a loud warning today when there is a widespread attraction to the “church fathers” within evangelicalism. The Catholic apologetic ministries use the “church fathers” to prove that Rome’s doctrines go back to the earliest centuries. In the book Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic, David Currie continually uses the church fathers to support his position. He says, “The other group of authors whom Evangelicals should read ... is the early Fathers of the Church” (p. 4). The contemplative prayer movement is...
  • Suspicious package mailed to Joel Olsteen

    10/25/2018 4:01:39 PM PDT · by RedStateRocker · 20 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 10/24/2018 | Babylon Bee
    HOUSTON, TX—A suspicious package mailed to Joel Osteen and intercepted by Lakewood Church security was found to contain a copy of the Christian Bible, sources confirmed Wednesday.
  • A Tribute to “Saint” Paul VI [Catholic Caucus]

    10/15/2018 3:57:56 AM PDT · by Repent and Believe · 4 replies
    Novus Ordo Watch ^ | October 14, AD 2018 | Editor
    ...We begin, therefore, with a little “Litany to Saint Paul VI”, a list of 50 outrageous titles that can justly be applied to this new anti-saint. The idea, of course, is not to ask anyone to use this for an actual litany (God forbid!), but rather to point out vividly the absurdity of taking this wicked man for a saint of the Catholic Church. “St.” Paul VI was the… destroyer of the sacraments architect of the Novus Ordo Missae deformer of the Curia captain of collegiality councilor of heresy admirer of false religions cheerleader for the United Nations patron of...
  • Donall and Conall Meet the JWs

    10/02/2018 8:17:37 AM PDT · by NRx
    YouTube ^ | 10-02-2018 | LutheranSatire
    The latest from Lutheran Satire as they take apart one of the key tenets of the Jehovahs Witnesses.
  • Progressive Criticizes Jesus For Not Being Very Christlike (Satire)

    09/19/2018 5:16:13 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 7 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 9/18/2018
    SEATTLE, WA—After reading several chapters from the gospels over the weekend, local progressive believer Wendy Butler reportedly published a Patheos blog post in which she criticized Jesus of Nazareth for “not being very Christlike.” The blog post took Jesus to task for His “unloving and problematic” teachings. “He devotes entire sections of His sermons to ranting about archaic religious concepts like hell and the last judgment instead of just coming alongside the marginalized and affirming their sins,” Butler said. “Very little of what He did on earth I would describe as life-giving. Frankly, I do a better job of being...
  • The Modern Catholic Church

    09/04/2018 7:08:53 PM PDT · by bogusname · 2 replies
    YouTube ^ | 9/04/2018 | Salt
    Two Priests show the true purpose for their service.
  • Defending Pope Francis, Vatican Allies May Strengthen Viganò... [Self-Parody Rules] (Cath Caucus)

    09/04/2018 12:10:43 PM PDT · by Mrs. Don-o · 10 replies
    New York Times ^ | September 2, 2018 | Jason Horowitz
    ROME — Retaliating against a remarkable campaign from within the church to force the ouster of Pope Francis, the Vatican’s former spokesman issued a statement on Sunday night questioning the credibility of [Vigano]. Vatican officials and the pope said that he had ambushed Francis in 2015 by setting up a private meeting with Kim Davis, who became a conservative celebrity by refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses. [snipperoo] On Sunday, Father Lombardi issued a joint statement with [Francis-spox] Rev. Thomas Rosica, noting that Viganò had spoken the night before the meeting (with Kim Davis) with the pope and his collaborators...
  • Proverb A Day, Proverb 16 [Prayer and Meditation]

    08/16/2018 6:46:45 AM PDT · by OneVike · 6 replies
    Bible NKJV ^ | 900 B.C. | Solomon
    Proverb 16 (NKJV) Wisdom Is Better Than Gold 01 The preparations of the heart belong to man, 00 But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. 02 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, 00 But the LORD weighs the spirits. 03 Commit your works to the LORD, 00 And your thoughts will be established. 04 The LORD has made all for Himself, 00 Yes, even the wicked for the day of doom. 05 Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; 00 Though they join forces, none will go...
  • Actress Debra Messing Thinks Christians Should be Forced to Fund Abortions

    08/10/2018 5:51:57 PM PDT · by Morgana · 55 replies
    LIFE NEWS ^ | August 10, 2018 | Steven Ertelt
    Actress Debra Messing of “Will and Grace” fame apparently believes that Christians should be forced to fund abortions. Yesterday Messing sent out a tweet blasting Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. In her tweet she defended abortion and blasted Brett Kavanaugh’s record as leading pro-abortion groups like Planned Parenthood and others have been doing recently. But the actress went a step further. Included in her tweet was a comment that the Christian views of employers should not supersede supposed health care rights. Her tweet is a reference to the landmark Supreme Court decision regarding Hobby Lobby. That’s the Christian-owned business that...
  • Islamicize Me: Aftermath

    06/25/2018 3:23:15 PM PDT · by OddLane · 7 replies
    Acts 17 Apologetics ^ | June 25, 2018 | David Wood
    After 30 days of following Muhammad's teachings and eventually leaving Islam, the gang meets the man who started it all.
  • Frank the Hippie Pope Bans All Weapons [Satire]

    05/03/2018 8:28:18 AM PDT · by NRx · 3 replies
    Youtube ^ | 05-02-2018 | Lutheran Satire
    Yes, it's satire. But only barely.